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Talking Stalkers

Ian and Dirk were chatting about tennis players today and a spin-off conversation got Jermaine talking about his brother Michael's hit 'Billy Jean'.

When the lesbian tennis player Billy Jean King was mentioned, Jack asked if the King of Pop's hit was about her. However, Ian and Dirk weren't sure so they consulted the man in the know, Jermaine.

Ian asked who the tune was based-on and the big guy replied, "This crazy fan," before elaborating that the woman in question has a restraining order on her.

In fact, the song, which tells the tale of a woman who claimed that Michael was the father of her child, was written about a nutjob stalker called Billie Jean Jackson.

With Jermaine having discussed the lyrics, he then said, "The advice in the song is true, from my Mother". He was referring to the part that goes: 'People always told me, be careful of what you do. Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts'.

Dirk said that as a celebrity you can't avoid breaking such people's hearts because you don't actually know them.

Jermaine then talked about some of the other weirdos that have turned-up at his gaff over the years, including one who claimed he was Christ. Ohhh-kay.

"Some come to do damage to you. You just gotta' be careful," added the pop legend, before detailing how one guy stopped him getting into his drive and they got into a squabble. "He started banging on my window and I just got out of the car and went off."

Woo-hoo! Jermaine Jackson in fisticuffs shocker!

The 52-year-old then told how some girls from Sweden once stripped-off and laid in his driveway naked. "The guards had to come and put their coats on them," added Jermaine.

"Did you tell the guards to remove those clothes at once? 'Guards, don't throw clothes on 'em, let 'em lay there for a while... put the cameras on them... call Channel 4!'" joked Dirk.

Ian then asked if Dirk had ever had any nutters turn-up at his ranch, and amazingly, the actor revealed that he'd had a similar experience to Wacko Jacko.

"I've had the women who thought they had my children," said the Faceman, prompting gay housemate Ian to quip, "I've never had that!"

After talking about the death threats he'd received, Dirk stated that it's good to be rich, successful, happy and healthy, but best to do it in a profession where you can be anonymous. "Anybody with any brains would keep the lowest profile," concluded the actor.

Damn, it looks like we're set to see more of dimwit Jade Goody then!

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