Singing For Sausage(s)
This bunch of housemates are definitely late-risers compared
to previous contestant groups, but then they know that their
first meal of the day at the moment is stodgy slop. So, Big
Bro gave the group an incentive to get up today.
The all-seeing entity set the housemates a task whereby they
had 30 minutes to write a song and then each perform a section
of it. If they succeeded, they would get a non-slop brekkie.
Okay, so Big Bro wasn't promising a full English, but anything
is a step-up from that 'orrible gruel, so the they duly dived-in
and started composing.
Well, we say that, but they basically re-hashed Sam and Amanda's
annoying little 'Introduce yourself. No way' song, and the
resulting tuneage – to use a Tracey'ism – went
I'm girly don't ya think?
The girls they love to text me.
I'm such a dirty mukka.
I do aerobics in the pool.
Wanna' be rolling in the dosh.
I'm such a sexy freak.
I'm everything you're not.
I've got lots of mo-ney.
I'm the only Welsh one.
I love to get with the f...(ahem!)
I'm about to lose the plot.
The guys think I'm a treat.
I'm a raver,
I'm a hardcore cheesy quaver.
The girls they like to stare.
Which was interspersed with a chorus of:
BB8 is the place to be,
Where the sun is shining,
We're a family.
There are times of laughter,
There are times we cry,
But the hardest thing is when we say 'Goodbye'.
Luckily for the group, Big Bro's standards were lower than
Ronnie Corbett's knees, and they duly passed the task. Woo-hoo!
As a reward, they were supplied with juice, tea bags, bread,
milk and, er... one solitary sausage.
Still, after a mini-argument over the measly amount of meat,
they shared out the luxury grub and were as happy as a gaggle
of tramps in a cardboard factory!
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