"I Want To Live Like Common People"
When 36-year-old Jonty first arrived, it was his habit of
playing with soft toys that riled his fellow housemates. However,
since then, the museum worker has displayed a much more annoying
habit: his penchant for passing wind!
The housemates are supposed to become model human beings
this week, displaying perfect decorum in the presence of their
peers. So today, Carole took the opportunity to subtlety pull
Jonty up over the fact that he persistently causes noxious
"I wonder what else might be seen as being rude in the
company of women?" said a mischievous Carole, giving
a big hint about Jonty's unbecoming behaviour.
And the man himself was happy to supply the answer, replying,
"I should think gaseous emissions," before waffling
about lewd discussions and people who talk about their sexual
But Carole homed-in on the farting, going back to the subject
of 'other bodily functions' and prompting Jonty to tell her
more about the unsuitability of trumping and burping in front
"Well, to release gas either from the mouth or any other
area in a noisy and unashamed way, particularly if followed
by a cacophony of manic laughter, would be considered to be
unacceptable," said the museum man, trying not to laugh.
"No, they're not sources of humour, they're embarrassments
and social disgraces," he added.
Oh yeah? Then why do totally crack-up whenever you let one
Mind you, it's hard not to laugh if you're part of the hoi
polloi, like wot we are!
<parp> He he.
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