Guru Ziggy Wants More Power
When Ziggy was crowned the Mind Guru yesterday afternoon,
he was mega-chuffed to have achieved the honour. Today, it
would seem that he's bored of it already.
As Zig prepared to spend the day wearing an itchy beard on
his face and a brain-in-a-jar around his neck, he cleaned
his teeth and snatched an opportunity to have a moan at Big
Bro via the bathroom cameras.
"What's the point of being a Guru if you can't pull
a bit of weight?" said the disgruntled Master, before
adding, "I might as well be normal and not have to wear
this Santa Claus outfit".
"You should let me walk round the House and give it
a bit 'large'. I should at least have some sort of three-course
meal. But no... (it's) spaghetti on toast, third day in a
row," whinged the wise one.
And when he'd finished cleaning his spiritually-blessed nashers,
the 26-year-old concluded, "You should have people knocking
at the door, wanting to be a Guru. At this rate no-one will
want to be a Guru... you won't be able to give it away".
The thing is, a Guru should be ready to impart knowledge
at any time and radiate 'positivity and light' at all times.
Given that Ziggy seems more keen on moaning and having a pop
at Gerry lately, we're not so sure that he deserves his status
and the immunity that comes with it.
Erm, anyone know if Gurudom can be revoked?
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