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You've Got A Friend: The Pals Perform

The curtain went up on a one-off extravaganza of love tonight, as five members of the group individually performed a self-penned song about friendship with their respective best buddies.

However, in composing their ditties, some housemates got on better than others, as Aisleyne, Glyn, Spiral, Imogen and Pete got to grips with their various instruments.

Ash tentatively tapped her bongos, Imogen shook her tambourine, Pete bashed away on the keys of his keyboard and Glyn looked a total-and-utter gimp as he strummed his out-of-tune guitar, first holding it the wrong way 'round.

Erm, when doesn't the gangly blonde schoolboy look like a gimp?!

But DJ-stroke-dreamer Spiral struggled the most, going for an unlikely combination of rap backed by xylophone (Big Bro, you must have been taking the pee there!)

Having problems getting his creative juices flowing, the Irish lad threw down his beaters in temper, saying, "I just can't do it with these stupid things... I got the worst set out of everything. Stupid poxy things".

When it came time to perform, Aisleyne adopted a predictable false twang to tell pal Jennie, "I wanna' be your friend for life".

Next-up was Imogen, who introduced her song for Suzie by saying, "Mine's so boring compared to Ash's". Ahem, we're saying nothing. And the less said about the slushy song the better as it is was excruciatingly annoying.

The 23-year-old barmaid did gain some brownie points for looking rather pretty though, having made an extra special effort to doll herself up for the performance.

"This is my song for my best friend Mikey... magic Mikey," was Glyn's sick-making introduction, before launching into a tune that would have had fellow Welsh crooner Tom Jones worried.

Not really, it was rubbish, particularly as the lyrics included something about Mikey teaching him how to pull 'fit birds'. Next!

Spiral rested his mini xylophone on a pink table to perform his (c)rap, and despite having fifteen notes to choose from, he decided to repeatedly play just two of them for the duration of the ditty. "(He's) living a reality, knows his sexuality," was the best bit of the song about Michael.

Last-up was Pete, and the music man had a clearout of Tourette's ticks before starting the drums on his keyboard and launching into a pop/ disco number.

Proclaiming that he wanted to make love to Richard and mentioning hotpants, make-up and muscles, the chorus to his song went, "Stuff your face with my sugary love," and the catchy tune ended with, "D. I. C. K. He's a big gay!"

Pete's song was, of course, the best of the bunch... let's just hope it doesn't encourage Dickie too much though, as Pete's army of female fans would be gutted if he suddenly announced that he was gay!

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