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Derek Returns And His Pants Are On Fire!

He was banged-up in a room 'all on his todd' for over 12 hours, but now Del Boy has returned to the House safe and well. However, when he told everyone about his experience, the phrase 'Liar, Liar, your pants are on fire' sprang to mind!

Appearing at the Diary Room door clutching a laminate this afternoon, Derek revealed details of the real task, which was that the Double Agent - Kemal - had to dupe the group, or to not get found-out at least.

However, Del was not told who the fink was, so the speculation continued, with Craig particularly keen to know. But Kemal kept schtum, after all, as Big Brother wrote on the laminate, 'A good spy will guard their secrets with their lives'.

Fittingly, today's wake-up tune was Betty Boo's 'Where Are You Baby?' but certain housemates, namely Team Empty(Heads) weren't particularly bothered about his disappearance, nor were they especially keen to see the 41-year-old back.

Earlier in the day, Secret Mission expert Makosi was convinced that Del was in-hiding somewhere close-by, shouting, "Derek, come out!" as she splashed around in the pool.

And indeed, the political man was so close that he could almost hear her cries as he lay in his spartan room reading-up on 'How To Be A Good Spy'.

But, although he was ultimately found not guilty of being the Double Agent, the mischievous writer was guilty of spicing things up when regaling the group about his time in the cell.

"I could see everything," said the fibber, going-on to claim that the room had been done-up like his bedroom at home. Hmm... we didn't know the upper-class contestant lived in an army barracks?!

Good one Del, it's just a shame that the lounge-dwelling crew didn't believe your porkies. Mind you, with so much devious behaviour, blatant lies and secret missions going on, it's no wonder people are sceptical this year.

Hey, they should change the name of the show... forget BIG Brother, there's an eight-letter word that could replace the three-letter one to accurately convey the theme of this series: B******T Brother!

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