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Kemal Needs A Man

Fed-up with the lack of male totty in the House, Kemal visited the Diary Room tonight to persuade Big Bro to bring a hunk in!

With the exception of Roberto, there hasn't really been much in way of male 'talent' this year for either the girls or the boys to ogle. Derek is pretty fit, but is no doubt seen as an old biddy by young-enough-to-be-his-son Kemal.

A deluded Maxwell thought he could have been something of 'a sort' if he lost the puppy fat, but he was never gonna' be Brad Pitt was he? And Craig isn't exactly a picture, his boyish looks ruined by his angry, distressed-looking face a lot of the time.

Who else?

Well, Science is Science and although he's possibly quite fit (skinny?) his personality is probably enough to turn any would-be admirer off.

About Eugene, what can we say without sounding harsh? He's got a pasty-white, wimpy body, he ain't the best-looking bloke and he doesn't exactly have a Hollywood smile.

Now we're starting to sound really superficial, aren't we? How apt for BB6?!

The only other male housemate to consider is Anthony. The Geordie dancer does have a toned body and a pretty face, but presumably stiletto-wearer Kemal is looking for someone who's actually taller than the notoriously midget-like entertainer 'Prince?'

And anyway, Anthony is already taken. Sort of.

Back in the Diary Room, Kemal asked the all-seeing entity if the cameramen behind the mirrors were naked and fit. Quite why they would be naked is anyone's guess.

Mind you, we don't know what those guys get up to in the confines of that camera run and frankly, we don't want to!

Big Brother didn't answer, but that didn't stop Kemal revealing that he felt a bit sexually lacking in the House. "It's come to the point where I need a man and to be honest, there ain't nothing much in here," said the 19-year-old.

All the omnipresent one could suggest was that Kemal finds a way to relieve himself, perhaps following Craig's recent example?

Flirting with the male voice proved fruitless and Big Bro wasn't forthcoming with the requested jazz mags and vids to help Kemal out of his 'frustrating' situation.

Bah! Men... who needs 'em?!

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