Big Bro Retaliates
The (normally) all-powerful entity known as Big Brother has
resorted to drastic action tonight, in retaliation for the
group's silent protest. For it has effectively burnt Sheriff
Stu to a crisp!
Sheriff Stu aka 'Johnny Horizontal', became the Macclesfield
lad's main alter-ego after the group were provided with fancy
dress costumes on the night of Emma and Michelle's return,
the infamous Day 20.
Stu was allocated a cowboy outfit complete with black Stetson
hat, which he literally lived-in for a few days until Big
Bro took it back.
Since then, he's been duped into buying a massive floppy sombrero
for £6, thinking he'd be getting the original Stetson
back, and in an absolutely hilarious move, Big Brother duped
the gullible cowboy once again, by providing a tiny hat like
the one from a Monopoly set!
Even BBLB's Dermot O'Leary got involved in a campaign, calling
for 'the nitwits upstairs' to please loads of female fans
by bringing back Sheriff Stu.
But all that has come to a devastating end today, as Big Brother
set fire to the proper hat in retaliation for the housemates'
With the whole group summoned to the lounge and gathered around
the sofa area, the plasma screen sprang into life showing
a shot of the famous stetson, sat on a background of grass.
Puzzled, the housemates eagerly watched until a lighted rag
suddenly came-in from the side of the screen and torched the
There were gasps of horror as Stu, thinking that he might
be able to rescue it, rushed-out into the garden to check
if it was there, but to no avail.
The housemates were compelled to watch the bonce-cover bonfire
as the hat was reduced to ashes, prompting a round of applause
as the final flame extinguished.
Taking it badly, former sheriff Stu immediately retreated
to the pamper room for a blub, but was consoled by trusty
How low can you go Big Bro? All we can say is: Long Live Johnny
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