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Big Bro Takes A Break

It's tough being an overseeing power 24-hours-a-day, so this morning Big Brother decided to chill-out and take a day-or-two off. The lazy swine!

As-if it isn't bad enough that everyone is on voicemail these days and only talks to you if they can be bothered, the omnipresent one has followed suit and installed 'Automated Big Brother' in the Diary Room.

'Welcome to Automated Big Brother. Your visit may be recorded for training and security purposes. Big Brother is unavailable at present. In order for your visit to be handled more efficiently, please choose from one of the following options,' read BB's note when Richard and Ash went for a chat this morning.

But there was no Big Bro; all they found next to the golden chair was a giant telephone keypad with which to interact; press one to leave a message, two to make a request, zero to leave the room. Simple.

And it didn't take long for them to twig that they could basically do what they want, with Aisleyne telling the group, "We can do whatever we want 'cos they're not here," which prompted Imogen to ask, "So we can go back to bed?"

'Fraid not love, for Big Bro will be checking-up on the group via the specially-installed telephone outside the Diary Room. In fact, it wouldn't surprise us if the oft-evil one has also electrocuted the beds and floor to keep the housemates on their toes!

We'll have to wait and see. Oh, and if you're wondering where Big Bro has actually gone on its hols, the answer is sunny Margate.

But hang on, how is the skiving entity planning to sun itself on a beach?

...it hasn't even got a body, after all!

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