Derek's Gone Pretend-Stir Crazy
Derek showed signs of going mad this morning as he visited
the Diary Room to tear some strips out of Big Brother. Watch
"These are the charges...," began the staunch Tory
supporter, before detailing that he'd been denied a supply
of new cigars and reminding that all-seeing one that the 'beautiful
prose' he wrote yesterday morning hadn't been printed-out
on a laminate as requested.
The professional speech writer was rather chuffed with his
little poem, which was all about his Big Brother experience,
and wanted it recorded in print for posterity.
"I think you should know there are other places much
more, how should I say, more suitable for a man of my standing.
I can get a much more agreeable landlord than you! You are
just a cantankerous old fart!" whinged the oldest housemate
in his usual semi-serious manner.
Blimey, he's just described himself there!
He went on... "My work has been complimented by the Poet
Laureate himself!" ranted the wordsmith, adding, "If
Shakespeare were alive he'd be banging that door down to get
at my work!"
Then, in something of a 'Del's gone gaga' moment, the dry-witted
41-year-old even suggested that he'd rather have Science
back in the House taking over as the omnipresent one.
Dear fellow, BBO recommends that you take a long lie down
immediately; you appear to have gone totally insane old chap!
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