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Anthony And Craig Have Lover’s Tiff

Kemal playfully suggested tonight that he could get Anthony into bed if he wanted, but the consequences of his joke were that would-be lovers Anthony and Craig ended-up having a tiff!

"I reckon I could turn Anthony if I had boobs," said the cross-dressing Turk in front of the group, in reference to Anthony’s drunken comment some weeks ago.

However, the apparently straight Geordie boy refuted the very suggestion, saying, "Not a chance".

Craig then chipped in, saying that his good pal wouldn’t even be interested in him if he was a woman, and the most beautiful woman in the world at that.

However, that was probably taking the hypothetical situation a bit too far, because fairly obviously Anthony would be attracted to him (her) if Craig was the most beautiful woman in the world!

Then, having perhaps considered the concept of getting jiggy with Kemal, Anthony made the cutting and unnecessary statement, "I’d rather wipe my a*** with a broken bottle".

"Anthony, for the record, is a million percent straight," clarified Craig, jumping-in to defend his bosom buddy.

But Anthony didn’t even want to hear any such talk and snapped, "Listen man, I don’t need that said". Any doubts about his sexuality weren’t even up for discussion. End of.

This prompted Makosi to note that Craig and Ant talk to each other like a married couple, and an irate Anthony agreed, saying of the renowned whinger, "He whines-on like a whining, nagging wife".

Anthony soon left the room and then he and Craig had a little tiff over the fact that the latter was perpetuating the gay jibes by sticking up for him.

Half an hour later, at around 11.30pm, Anthony had stormed off to the bedroom to get away from his near-siamesed pal and Craig chatted with Derek about the situation in the lounge.

The tear-prone perm-merchant was blubbing away as he stated that he was only trying to defend his friend. Craig was apparently worried about how his bud would be perceived on the outside.

The answer, Craig, is that he will probably be perceived as being ‘gay’ ...no thanks to you.

Derek sympathised with Craig, who is clearly besotted with Anthony but deep down must know that he can’t have him as a partner or lover.

The political expert revealed that he’d been in a similar situation when he was younger, but stopped short of telling Craig to get over it, more’s the pity.

Then, akin to what he did just a few nights ago, Craig managed to blame Makosi for the fact that he’d taken flak from Anthony, even though tonight’s ‘situation’ started-out as a bit of harmless banter.

Referring to the sexy nurse’s now-infamous swimming pool shenanigans with Anthony, Craig said, "Saskia and Maxwell would never have done that," meaning: have sex on TV.

Erm, since leaving the House they’ve been in the papers bragging about it Craig, you naïve young man. And anyway, it’s still not clear what, if anything, actually happened between Makosi and Ant.

But, having chatted to Derek about his infatuation, albeit in an unwritten code, will Craig have finally got the message that he needs to cool it with all the obsessive behaviour?

Don’t hold your breath folks!

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