The Name's Bond. Eugene Bond.
Eugene was given a secret mission tonight whereby he could
win a reward for himself and one other housemate if he passed.
However, perhaps predictably, his mission didn't go quite
The mission was to copy the first person who spoke to him
when he left the Diary Room, and that person was Makosi, who
said, "Batteries?", meaning, 'Was that what Big
Brother called someone in for?'
"Yeah, something like that," said the self-confessed
geek, already struggling to lie.
But Kemal and Del Boy knew that something was afoot and the
latter even pondered what Eugene's secret mission was. "God,
I wish I'd gone in there because he'll f*** it up," said
Derek, with little confidence in Eugene's ability to complete
Eugene then followed Makosi around and attempted to imitate
everything she did: when she chomped on a carrot, so did he.
When she laughed, he laughed.
Makosi did a little dance and Eugene copied, later copying
her movements to such an extent that the veteran of Secret
Missions said, "You're repeating what I'm doing. You're
copying my body gestures. It's part of your mission!"
The thing is, as everyone knows by now, the key to completing
a mission is making sure that no-one catches on, so perhaps
Makosi should have just kept her trap shut? Hey ho.
Eugene, upset because he'd been well-and-truly rumbled and
had therefore failed his mission, confessed all. He then had
a bit of a blub before returning to the Diary Room to face
Hey Eugene, MI5 have just called to say: 'Don't give up your
day job mate!'
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