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Group Fails Pirate Task In Spectacular Fashion!

The eleven housemates have been playing at pirates for a few days but today Admiral Big Beard announced that they've failed the Pirate Task in truly spectacular fashion!

They were asked to paint the ship black yesterday, but frankly it wouldn't have mattered if they'd painted it pink with green spots, for the housemates had failed the entire task within an hour of starting it.

What a bunch of muppets!

Here's what they did wrong (this could take a while)

Anthony failed to wear his hat on three occasions in the bedroom,
Saskia also failed to wear her hat in the bedroom,
Max did the same, then visited the Diary Room without it on.

Vanessa was also guilty of the same offence,
As were Roberto, Sam and Science.

They received a group fail for not making it to the boat in enough time.

Craig failed to join-in with the group's song, singing 'blah, blah, blah' instead,
Anthony tried to communicate with the outside world by writing 'Lovejoy is a legend',

So, that's the first batch of fails... you want more?

Derek and Roberto left the Crow's Nest empty,
Saskia and Maxwell did a false alarm and left the Crow's Nest empty,
Roberto kept leaving the Crow's Nest.

Vanessa failed to wear her hat,
As did Science.

The group failed to assemble on the decking in time when a flag was shown,
Kemal wasn't wearing his uniform,
Derek wasn't wearing his hat,
Anthony didn't have his weapon with him.

The ship wasn't painted correctly on the oar post,
Nor inside the ship,
And the ship's wheel had no paint on it at all.

Craig failed to wear his hat,
As did Sam, who also failed to carry her weapon,
Max wasn't wearing his hat in the Crow's Nest,
Neither was Saskia.

Roberto left the Crow's Nest for around two hours,
Maxwell was late for the Pirate song, thereby incurring a group fail.
Which is what they also received for not assembling on the decking for a 'land ahoy' flag.

Now that is SOME list: twenty-eight fails in total when they were only allowed two per day. Phew-ee!

"Pat yourselves on the back," said Captain Science upon receiving the news, but he could hardly berate his crew as he was responsible for two of the fails himself.

The upshot of their absolutely abysmal effort is that the group will have to struggle-by on a shopping budget of just £70 this week. Too bad.

Ever get that 'sinking' feeling you lot?

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