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Keeping Up Appearances

It's been a day of excessive pampering and preening today, and no, we're not talking about Jay's outrageously lengthy moisturising routine!

Rather, we're referring to the fact that it is Eviction night tonight, and six out of the eight remaining housemates are facing the chop.

As-is tradition, the nominees spent seemingly hours preparing themselves to look their best, which has always baffled us given that we've seen them looking their worst many, many times over the past 7 weeks!

Ahmed, who was perhaps thinking of his possible meeting with Davina, bathed for over an hour to ensure that he was smelling good. Dan got up and immediately bleached his twirly bit of hair, making his bonce red in the process.

Nadia spent years removing all traces of hair from her legs and thighs (no gags about her face please! - Ed), even doing a spot of gardening while she was down there... if you know what we mean! Later, Shell helped apply shed-loads of eye make-up.

Shell had slept in braids overnight to try and get a new wavy look going, but upon untying them and checking their progress this morning, she had a soak in the bath, retied her locks and then jumped back into bed.

Stuart didn't really do much... to improve his appearance. Is there really anything the dreamboat can do though ladies?

Vic the Slick was given a new suit by Big Bro, thereby sorting-out his mini clothing crisis. He's spent much of the time since running his mouth and talking c**p. You DON'T say?!

It wasn't just the nominees who decided to go to town though, as Michelle sat around wearing a facepack which was rather reminiscent of the camouflaged face paint soldiers wear. And in an ever-so-slightly bizarre scenario later in the day, Jay gave Victor a wet shave and trimmed his beardy thing for him.

We can confirm, however, that according to his pals, Jason Cowen is 166% straight. Or whatever. Hmm, rrrrriiiiiight!

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