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Weekly Task: Back To School

The housemates have this morning been set a new weekly task, for which they will be attending 'Big Brother Primary School' for the next few days.

Overnight, the lounge was transformed into a classroom complete with desks, wallcharts and of course, the obligatory bike sheds.

No doubt Nadia will frequently be behind there having a crafty ciggy and maybe Stuart and Michelle will be, you know, doing stuff behind the sheds. In fact, smoking and snogging must take place there to comply with the Rules!

Headmaster Big Bro will take a register each morning and any absenteeism will be counted as a fail, unless the 'pupil' has a doctor's note. More than three fails will mean that they've failed the task.

At the start of the task, the pupils dressed-up in their rather fetching uniform, which includes a blue blazer and a cap for the boys, and a skirt and toff-style boater hat for the girls. However, the skirts were deemed too frumpy and were duly hitched up.

Getting into the swing of things, Stuart went to the headmasters office (diary room) to creep on the boys who'd been bullying him; Big Bro advised the psychology student to confront the bullies and he did just that.

"You're not bullying me anymore. You're not getting my lunch money any more," he said to Victor as he returned from the Head's office, bravely defying his older peer.

But Vic, perhaps practised in the art of controlling weaker pupils, put his arm around snitch Stu and said, "Walk with me, Wilson", before tackling him to the ground!

As the poor little chick'un lay sprawled across the lounge floor, girlfriend Michelle eventually came over not to offer a hand up and a cuddle, but to issue the statement, "You should be more tough". Thanks for the support, girly!

The whole class will attend lessons over the next three days, the first being double history, followed by class presentations and finally a spelling test.

If the group fail the task they will be locked in the cupboard or given the slipper... erm, no that's not right (wishful thinking?)Rather, they will not receive any shopping next week.

Should the kids behave themselves, do well in class, remember to wear all their uniform and generally suck up to the head, they will be rewarded with a treat.

Pop back soon to see how the pretend 'nippers get on as they go back to school. Just one thing, Stu might have a bit of a problem recruiting suitable members for Team Handsome. Ahem!

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