"Marco, Shut Your Mouth!"
Don't know about you, but when we were young, we were taught
that one should always eat with one's mouth closed. However,
this basic rule of your standard table manners seems to have
passed Marco by, much to our annoyance!
For some time now, we've noticed how the gangly student will
chomp on his food no matter what he's eating.
You can kind-of excuse the odd bit of chomping here and there,
especially with snacks like crisps, but with Marco it's a
Tonight, though, things reached fever pitch for us...
Sat in the lounge alone, being the last housemate still awake,
the trainee law man prepared himself a big plate full of pasta
and proceeded to eat it, one tube at a time.
However, during the long drawn-out process, he could be heard
smacking his lips after every single morsel, making for an
intensely annoying experience for anyone watching.
In the process of consuming his wheat-based fodder, the effeminate
housemate occasionally walked around the kitchen looking like
a extra-camp 'C-3PO' on tip-toes, only adding to the annoyance
We don't mind the camp behaviour Marco, but when combined
with the strange robo-mince walk and the excessive chomping,
it's just too much mate!
Fair enough, he has a microphone situated just inches from
his mouth, but then we haven't noticed the cement mixer effect
from any other housemates... we'd go totally insane if we
noticed that they all do it!
So, in a Dan and Vanessa, 'Mum or Dad'-like way, we say: 'Marco,
please shut your mouth when you're eating'.
Is that enough of a reason to get rid of him this Friday though?
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